In the nine months between jobs, there were a few key principles that held our family of three together. When times get tough in a marriage, these 6 lessons can mean the difference between survival and defeat…
6 Tips for Thriving in a Marriage During Difficult Times
1. Don’t Panic:
When something unexpected happens, it’s easy to imagine the worst. Though it’s tempting to throw your hands up in defeat and surrender to the difficult circumstances you’ve been given, it’s important to try to stay positive. Although it’s cliché – things do have a way of working themselves out when you…
2. Make a plan:
The best advice my mom ever gave me was: “Stress is simply the absence of a plan.” I always remember that when I’m faced with challenging situations and I’m feeling out of control. By writing it down or talking through the next steps you’ll begin to feel more in control of the situation. Do you need to get a resume together? Get a second opinion? Consider a move? Whatever it is, make a list and start working your way through it systematically.
3. Seek Advice:
It’s hard to know what those next steps are when you don’t even know what you’re dealing with. If someone in your family has lost their job, seek out a career counsellor. If someone has suffered a recent medical diagnosis, seek a second opinion. Do your research. Know what you’re up against, and make a plan to tackle it.
4. Keep a Routine:
It’s easy to throw yourself a pity party and sleep late, stress-eat, and generally let yourself go. No one would even blame you if you did, however none of these things will make you feel better and lift you out of your current funk. The best thing you can do is to set a new routine for yourself. Get up at the same time each day. Eat well. Schedule in time to work on your resume, go to doctor’s appointments, meet with other people who will lift your spirits. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to maintain a sense of normalcy.
5. Compliment and Encourage Daily:
This one is key. Both men and women need daily reassurance that even if everything else is crumbling around them, their marriage at least is on stable ground. It’s critical that you build each other up daily. Show affection in little ways. Let your spouse know that you care and that you’re there for them. Resist the urge to take out your frustrations on your spouse and instead focus your energy on something more productive. Like…
6. Have a little fun:
It’s important to make an effort to find joy in every day. This is especially critical in the midst of challenging times. Plan a $5 date night each and see who can come up with the best idea! Go for a walk after dinner and enjoy some quality time together. Have some friends over for a board game night. Whatever makes you feel like yourself, make sure to make time for it. It will help to keep your spirit alive.
To everyone out there walking through this right now, I’m thinking about you and would love to hear your story. Do you have some tips for how you’re making it through? Have some encouragement for others? Feel free to share in the comments below! If you enjoyed this post don’t forget to click on the Top Mommy Blog button below to vote. Mmmmmwhoa!
This post was also featured on HuffPost Parents!
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I love this, Tiffany!! <3 This is such great advice for any sort of marital hard time, whether it's job related or not. You've hit the nail on the head with this post!! Thanks for sharing, and being a part of the March Marriage Challenge.
What a great post! I can really relate to #4 and #5. Keeping a routine is so important for your mental health and keeps your momentum going. My husband and I are trying to do better about intentionally encouraging each other; it's the little things!
This is an amazing post. My family is kind of living the life of stress right now, we do many of these, some of the time, but need to get better at doing these on a more regular basis. Great tips ❤
I love this, Tiffany! <3 It's such great advice for any marital hard time, whether financial or otherwise. Thank you for sharing and thanks for being a part of the 2016 March Marriage Challenge 🙂
Great tips! Very interesting:)
We went through my hubby getting a significant pay cut last year whend finances were al ready tight. We're still dealing with it as there hasn't been a way to fill the gap. Your tips are very true!
Seriously smart advice. Don't panic. Love this post.
I have so many friends who have husbands in the industry and if they aren't worried about their jobs, then they are worried about where they will be moving to next. It is such a hard industry. I hope things work out in that department for your family!
What an encouraging, pragmatic, heartfelt post. The phrase heard countless times throughout my childhood (and the financial uncertainty that marked it) was "God never opens a door without closing a window." This post is so, so, so well done! PS submit this to HuffPost! Seriously ❤️
It's crazy the effect of complement or saying something nice can have on someone. I swear on the rough days a little complement from my hubby can give me the biggest smile.
First, what a great series the March Marriage Challenge is! I just got lost in a few articles and wanted to come back and say what a great set of tips this is, Tiffany. My favorite: “Stress is simply the absence of a plan.”
Aw thanks Sarah!!! That means a lot!
I know! It's all about the little things
You are absolutely right! Love that saying!
My family is currently going through this. My husband was layed off in January, just two months shy of our Church wedding. It was and still is a difficult blow and something we are working through. We jumped into action the next day and made a plan. I think the fact that we have remained level headed through this, my constant support and cheering him on during his search, has really helped us stay strong. We will get through this.
Don't panic… Yes! This is so encouraging to read for me right now.
Great advice 🙂 In the beginning of my marriage there were a lot of times when I could have used this! Now, my husband an I are more comfortable with all of these tips, we've really grown in our marriage through compliments, open communication, and fun 🙂
These are so true. I do love your quote from your mom. I am going to use that the next time my husband starts to stress out about something silly. Thank you for sharing this. Everyone needs marriage encouragement every day.
This is good advice. Marriage is so hard. We just had a baby in December, and adjusting to this new season of life has thrown its own kinks in it. Having a baby is the most amazing thing in the world, but one of the things that people don't really talk about that much is how having a baby changes your marriage. Some of these tips are very useful for this as well. Thank you!
Great tips!! My husband is currently stationed overseas for a year with the Marine Corps and it's been the hardest year of our marriage so far. I just posted about it last week. It's sometimes hard not to panic when your spouse is 7,000+ miles away and you feel like everything is falling apart. I also have depression and anxiety which doesn't help it at all either. It's hard. But thankfully we're an awesome team and have plans in place for when he returns home this summer. We just have to get through 5-6 more months of this 🙂
This is so true! These are all great tips, and so important to remember, especially in the middle of an issue. Thanks for sharing this!
Plan as a family which means include the children they understand more about whats going on and worry just like you.
These are wonderful tips! Thank you for sharing them. I think that it's so important to keep your marriage strong always, and especially in hard times to ensure that you don't let the trials get into your relationship as well.
Love this post. SO heartfelt and real. These are great tips and essential for getting through tough times.
Really good tips! I always feel better with a plan! I'd also add that it's important to stay on the same team. We try to work together against the problem, not let there be fights between us.
These are great tips. I think that having a bit of fun during the rough times helps as well. I know that we try to do that when things get a bit stressful, and it really does help. A few laughs or being able to smile during rough times is so important.
This advice is fantastic. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but you have such a good head on your shoulders, it's inspiring. I love that you added having fun because as someone who lets herself go under stress, I forget how relieving letting loose can be. I love this post.
I wish I saw this 7 years ago when my husband was laid off for a good part of the year. He's in construction and has been laid off at least 1/3 of every year since the economic crash here. I am living every day in stress and it's no way to live but when your neck deep in it, it's even harder to get out. Best thing I can do at this point is just try to keep moving forward and pray the dark cloud leaves us soon.
Thanks so much Jules! That means so much 🙂
Aw you poor thing! That's really rough. It's a tough time for many. Prayers make all the difference for sure!
Love this post, so many great tips for marriage. My husband and I have been making sure we make time for days nights, even if it's a date night in.
Love this, such a great reminder that what might seem like the biggest hurdle should be treated as a minor speed bump. Love the $5 date night idea too, will have to try that!
I love the $5 date idea!
These are great! I have found that seeking encouragement and advice has been completely rewarding.
Your mom's advice is so wonderful: "Stress is just the absence of a plan." I'm writing this down to share with my kids. So often we let stress get in the way of our relationships and can really feel isolated in our stress. Thanks for sharing!
Great tips! I especially love the $5 date idea. That will definitely put a fun, competitive spin on things. 🙂 A great way to refocus!
Such great advice here! Life will always have up’s and down’s but the important thing is how we deal with it. We may not have control over what happens in our lives but we can always control how we react. <3 Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much Jenn! That is so true – we can only control our own reactions!
These are such doable simple things to do when you are in a rough spot in marriage. It is so hard to lean on each other when times are tough, but taking some simple steps can help you “see” each other as a partner when times are tough. Good read.
“Stress is simply the absence of a plan.” – that is a great quote! I think your tips are good for going through a difficult time in general, not just in a relationship/marriage. Thanks for sharing!
So sorry your family is going through this, but this is great advice. Communication is also key. Best of luck to you!
This was a great post for me to read since I am recently married! I appreciate your tips!
I just found your page today but am really enjoying it! This article is great because all marriages go through hard times, but it’s not the end of a marriage! You come across as a friend: non-judgmental but supportive. Great read!
Thank you so much for leaving such a kind comment. Thanks for popping by!