Rescuing our children comes naturally to all of us. As parents we all love our children. We want them to be successful. We want them to find happiness. We wish for them to be kind. We want to shield them from hurt.
No one wants to see the tears in their child’s eyes when their feelings are hurt because the world has been unkind. Our first instinct is to protect and to try to make it better because their hurt is our hurt (x 1000).
Of course, there are situations that may arise that may require your intervention, however the vast majority of the time donning your red cape may actually mean robbing your child of the opportunity to build resiliency and self-confidence.
Call off the Rescue Mission:
Consequences of Constantly Rescuing your Children
1. You are hurting their self-confidence:
When children see their parents swoop in to save the day every time their feelings are hurt, they internalize that they must not be capable of solving their own challenges. They need to learn that missteps and outright failures are simply a part of life and that they are more than capable of persevering through and finding a solution on their own.
2. You are hurting their ability to be resilient:
As a teacher I have witnessed countless students that emotionally crumble when the smallest challenge arises. They have been shielded so effectively from every form of real or perceived hurt that they don’t know how to cope with fear, anger, or disappointment.
3. You are feeding a false sense of security:
There will be times in life that mom or dad are not going to be there to rescue them when they get a bad grade or someone is being less than kind. What will they do then? It’s important that children learn to rely on their own ability to problem-solve in difficult situations because others will not always be there to save the day.
4. You are setting them up for failure:
I know your intentions are well and good, however can you imagine sharing a workspace with an adult like this? Maybe some of you have. They are the boss that becomes overly defensive any time their ideas are even remotely challenged. They are the co-worker that avoids confrontation at all costs but will go behind your back to complain to your boss. These are not the people you want to work with. You do not want your child to become those people.
Yeah you can probably let go of the lease on the helicopter now…
*Originally appeared on Mom Babble
The road to good parenting can be full of potholes and detours: That time you lost your cool because your kids asked one too many times when supper will be ready. The time you irrationally doled out a punishment that really didn’t fit the crime. The time you said something you knew you couldn’t take back…
I can barely remember what life was like before I became a parent. Sometimes I try especially hard to remember what I did with all my money before I had to pay for daycare (!). I can no longer picture my life without him, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the joy I’ve experienced since I’ve become a mom.