Tips for Picking up Other Mommies:
In need of a date? (A playdate that is.) Feel like the wear and tear of motherhood on your psyche is just too much to bear by yourself? Just need someone to share in your trials and celebrate even tiny successes of parenting with you? Maybe you just need some adult interaction…I’ve been there.
Every mom needs other supportive moms surrounding her. This is the one time in your life where even typically very confident women can feel like they are doing it all wrong and that life is just a series of spit up, nap schedules and monotony with no reprieve. Yes being a mom is a joy, but it’s also HARD. And when the going gets tough there is no one else on earth that will understand more than another mom who is in the trenches right there with you.
You may be the first of your friends to have kids or maybe the last. Maybe everyone else is back to work and you are just starting your maternity leave. It can get lonely. Here are some great tips for picking up other mommy friends:
1. Take advantage of everyday opportunities:
Remember that most moms are as desperate to meet you, as you are to meet them. Every outing you make, whether it be the park, the doctor’s office or the grocery store is an opportunity to meet other moms with kids. Often I spark up conversation with other moms behind them in line at Superstore. I can tell they are just as panicked as I once was to try to keep them from melting down in line and are happy to have a distraction while I make funny faces and chat with their kids. Take it a step further and ask if they want to arrange a play date sometime. Chances are they would love to get out with someone who understands.
2. Join a Facebook group
There are a ton of Facebook groups for mommies. Mothers Opposed to Boredom, NW Calgary Moms with Babies, Calgary Mom and Baby just to name a few. Moms here are reaching out for support and are often full of great advice you can’t find anywhere else. Whether you just need to vent or take your mind off your current state of mind, it’s a great place to find like-minded individuals that have similar parenting philosophies and interests
3. Create a Facebook group of your own for your area of the city.
In a city like Calgary, driving 45 minutes across town to have a playdate is not exactly relaxing if you happen to have a child like mine who screams bloody murder for the entire duration of any car ride at all. Creating a group for your area of town or community is a great way to meet other moms that are close by. This is helpful for last minute, “want to go for a walk?” playdates or a glass of wine after the kids are in bed. It’s great to be able to pop over to a trusted mommy friend when it’s just been one of those days and you need either a good laugh, a good cry, or both.4. Meetup.com
Meetup (www.meetup.com ) is an excellent resource for connecting with anyone with similar interests. You can search by location as well as hobbies and extracurricular activities. There are lots of great mommy groups in many Canadian cities that are looking to meet up for a group walk or coffee date. Join in or create your own!
My wise friend C always said, “The saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is said for a reason. We were never meant to do this alone.” I always remember that and when I’m feeling alone I remember to reach out. There is nothing like being with another mom who “gets it” to life your spirits and normalize your feelings.
The Good Enough Mommy
I know I’m not alone here. I love my child with more love than I ever thought was even possible. And yet there are definitely moments that I think to myself: What I wouldn’t do right now to just lounge on a patio, go shopping alone, spend the afternoon golfing, take a girl’s vacation, etc. etc. etc.
If my life were a tv show it would be a mix of “The Walking Dead,” and “Lost.” I have ambitions to be “The Good Wife” but truthfully relate more to “Desperate Housewives.”
These are great tips! I'll have to share them with our parents. We love when they create play dates because it keeps kids active and it gives them a chance to relax and unwind. Moms are such a great support system. Love this!
Great tips, thank you! I met a lot of my Mommy friends at the school, we'd go to pick up early and meet up outside before the kids got out – wonderful support still!
those are great tips, I met all my expat mommy friends via a facebook group, it definitely helps.
I have heard great things about Meet Up. Every time I have looked on it though I only find play groups for stay at home moms, which makes it impossible for me to make the play dates. I will have to look again.
As a introvert I find it really hard to connect with other moms! I always want to make plans but then consider all the stress of having to shuffle the kiddos and often times give up before I even start. It's a area I need to challenge myself in for sure.
Great tips! I've struggled with this, and having places online makes it so much easier for me. I really love Meet-up.
This is such a wonderful post. I am not a mommy, but I have several friends who are, and who have very small children. I can see how hard it is sometimes; and although I do not presume to know how it feels, please know that friends who don't have children DO understand, and the ones who don't aren't really friends 🙂
I don't know what I would have done without the internet! I've met so many great mom friends through Facebook and meet up.com. It can be isolating being a stay at home mom, so it's nice to take advantage of all these resources.
Thanks so much for sharing! Moms are definitely a great resource for each other!
That's so wonderful you have made such great connections!
That's wonderful!
I'm a working mom too and have found some great ones in my area! It just depends though!
I hope you find your place with some other groovy mammas! It can definitely be hard to get out but so worth it!
Thank you so much Hiba! You are so right!
I know hey? It's been so nice getting you know all of you bloggers also!
I love meet up too!
Very true!! Thank you so much for the compliment! Glad you are enjoying them even before you have kids!
This is all so true. We don't even have kids yet and I feel like I'm learning the art of reaching out to other "wife" friends. I'm sure this will only become more necessary after we all start having kids! I've been loving your posts lately…keep it up! 🙂
This is fantastic! I struggle sometimes with my friends who don't have kids or have kids that are way younger than mine. I love meeting other moms that are kindred spirits!
The are great tips! I wish i would have known this when I first started having children…It would have made me happier.